Top 30 Funny Einstein Jokes - 15 Einstein Jokes about Relativity, Absent-Minded, Lecturer, and Confusing Jokes

"Let me tell you what I look like: pale face, long hair, and a tiny beginning of a paunch. In addition, an awkward gait, and a cigar in the mouth ..."

-- Albert Einstein, 1920

Who is Albert Einstein? Most people knew him as super genius scientist ever live in this world. Albert Einstein (1879-1955) is a German-American physicist, Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. He is mathematics professor of Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton. Einstein best known for his equation for E = mc2 the mass–energy equivalence, and famous relativity theory. In wider culture the name "Einstein" has become synonymous with genius.

Einstein did not “smart” student when he was a kid. He was actually unable speak fluently until he was 12 years old. He was a naughty boy with unruly hair. His disturbing behavior and troublesome in his class and out of school make him a “Rotterdam Rotter”.

Out from school, he became celebrated musician and slapstick comedian. But his incorrigible Kleptomaniac, he stole his friend staffs, made him kick out from entertainment. That is his way returns to academic and soon shown his intelligence.

Albert Einstein well known has a sense of humor and sometimes taunted his teacher and later his fellow scientist. He can be said smart with words. Albert Einstein able to explain something difficult with simple illustration, and sometimes it sound funny too. There are hundreds jokes or funny stories about him. People often love to make a joke about great person. Some of his famous quotes also label on funny quotes.

There are many Einstein jokes in internet, but here the Top 30 Funny Einstein Jokes. I have work hard to compile and selected just the top funny Einstein jokes. I compile it in two articles:

• Top 30 Funny Einstein Jokes - 15 Einstein Jokes about Relativity, Absent-Minded, Lecturer, and Confusing Jokes (You are reading it now!)
  
• Top 30 Funny Einstein Jokes - 15 Einstein Jokes about Music, Wife, Childhood, God, Star Wars and Dog.

Enjoy Top 30 Funny Einstein Jokes. Think first then laugh or laugh fist then think, it is up to you. Have a great laugh with Albert Einstein Jokes.

Relativity Friend

Einstein walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll take a beer, and a beer for my friend, Heisenberg."

The bartender looks around and asks, "Is your friend here?"
"Well," says Einstein, "he is and he isn't."

Second Greatest Contribution

Einstein's second greatest contribution -- he said that when he was cooking soup and also wanted a soft-boiled egg he would add the egg to the soup and thereby have one less pot to wash...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

A six-year-old boy spotted Albert Einstein walking down the street and decided to try out his favorite joke on him, "Mr. Einstein! Why did the chicken cross the road?"

To which the famous physicist replied, "My young burgeoning mind, zee question does not have a definite anzer. Vether zee chicken crossed zee road or zee road crossed zee chicken depends on your frame of reference."

Einstein Vacation to Mexico

Albert Einstein was just about finished his work on the theory of special relativity, when he decided to take a break and go on vacation to Mexico. So he hopped on a plane and headed to Acapulco. Each day, late in the afternoon, sporting dark sunglasses, he walked in the white Mexican sand and breathed in the fresh Pacific sea air.

On the last day, he paused during his stroll to sit down on a bench and watch the Sun set. When the large orange ball was just disappearing, a last beam of light seemed to radiate toward him. The event brought him back to thinking about his physics work. "What symbol should I use for the speed of light?" he asked himself. The problem was that nearly every Greek letter had been taken for some other purpose.

Just then, a beautiful Mexican woman passed by. Albert Einstein just had to say something to her. Almost out of desperation, he asked as he lowered his dark sunglasses, "Do you not zink zat zee speed of light is zery fast?" The woman smiled at Einstein (which, by the way, made his
heart sink) and replied, "Si." And know you know the rest of the story. (Explanation: the symbol for speed of light is c).

Einstein Lost His Ticket

Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it."

Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one."

Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going."

Einstein in a Train

A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks, “Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop by this train?” There also similar story: Einstein asks conductor: "Excuse me, does New York stop by this train?"

I'm not Sure

Albert Einstein and Werner Heisenberg were out walking in the country conversing at length on the subject of physics.

After some time, Einstein said, "Werner, stop a minute."

Both men stopped walking and Heisenberg asked, "What is it Albert?" "I have been so immersed in thought that I have not been paying attention, where are we?"

Heisenberg replied, "I'm not sure."

Einstein’s Chauffeur

This is a true life anecdote about Albert Einstein, and his theory of relativity. After having propounded his famous theory, Albert Einstein would tour the various Universities in the United States, delivering lectures wherever he went. He was always accompanied by his faithful chauffeur (driver), Harry, who would attend each of these lectures while seated in the back row!

One fine day, after Einstein had finished a lecture and was coming out of the auditorium into his vehicle, Harry addresses him and says, “Professor Einstein, I’ve heard your lecture on Relativity so many times, that if I were ever given the opportunity, I would be able to deliver it to perfection myself!”

“Very well,” replied Einstein, “I’m going to Dartmouth next week. They don’t know me there. You can deliver the lecture as Einstein, and I’ll take your place as Harry!” And so it went to be. Harry delivered the lecture to perfection, without a word out of place, while Einstein sat in the back row playing “chauffeur”, and enjoying a snooze for a change.

Just as Harry was descending from the podium, however, one of the research assistants intercepted him, and began to ask him a question on the theory of relativity, one that involved a lot of complex calculations and equations.

Harry replied to the assistant, “The answer to this question is very simple! In fact, it’s so simple, that I’m going to let my chauffeur answer it!”

Questions of Exam

In the period that Einstein was active as a professor, one of his students came to him and said, "The questions of this year's exam are the same as last year!"

"True," Einstein said, "but this year all answers are different."

Worth Teaching

Einstein once said that it would be hard to teach in a co-ed college since guys were only looking on girls and not listening to the teacher. He was objected that they would be listening to HIM very attentively, forgetting about any girls. But such guys won't be worth teaching, - replied the great man.

Wrong Words

Einstein was talking to one of his colleagues about quantum mechanics. The colleague kept using classical terms to discuss the quantum phenomena.

Einstein finally said (something to the effect), "I can't be sure that I understand you because you are using the wrong words."

Einstein's Profession

In response to a fellow train passenger, October 31, 1930, who asked him his occupation, Einstein answered that he was an artist's model, reflecting Einstein's feeling that he was constantly posing for sculptures and paintings.

Relativity Understanding

Albert Einstein's favorite story concerned himself. In a certain debating society, the subject of relativity came up: One member took it upon himself to elucidate the all-absorbing scientific theory. He explained, propounded and examined the subject for an hour. When he had finished, from sheer exhaustion, a listener spoke up.

“You know, after listening to you, I think you are really greater than Einstein himself. According to statistics, only twelve men in the whole world understand Einstein --but nobody understands you.”

Complex Mathematical Formula

Einstein went to the barber for a haircut. As he waited, the physicist contemplated a complex mathematical formula.

When Einstein's turn came, the barber asked the scientist to remove his hat. “Sorry,” Einstein mused, “I didn't know ladies were present.”

Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein

Charlie Chaplin had invited Albert Einstein to the premiere of City Lights. When the public cheered them both. Chaplin remarked, "They cheer me because they all understand me, and they cheer you because no one understand you.”

Be happy laugh with super genius Einstein! Here other resource to enrich your life. Be a good person with good laugh, jokes and quotes to share around you.

• Albert Einstein Tongue and His Sense of Humor
• Top 101 Famous Albert Einstein Quotes - 51 Einstein Quotes (First Part)
• Top 101 Famous Albert Einstein Quotes - 50 Einstein Quotes (Second Part)